#flappy winged garbage #I love this tumblr
Almonds are one of the most water intensive crops. Every time she drops an almond, remove water from her water bottle by drinking from it right in front of her face. Assert water dominance. Birds don’t respond well to English even if they speak it.
Once she’s aware that she’s being flappy winged garbage, let her know you are merciful by showing her a trash can but not throwing her in it. Instead, let her watch you put ads on craigslist for anyone who would like to hire a bird for odd jobs; pest control and tutoring don’t require licenses. (Babysitting may not be jobs suitable for birds.)
Finally show her how to fill out a tax form. Most owners and parents seem to neglect this step.